Here in not so sunny Suffolk, England it is still raining (reminds me of "It was raining in the 100 acre wood" - can you tell me where that comes from?).... I think it has rained for days and days. My sister sent me a text about the rain yesterday and I replied that I was worried about the hose pipe ban because I couldn't water the garden!!! Not that I ever water my garden, but how can there possibly be a hose pipe ban and talk of drought?
Anyway, I wanted to talk today about something that has been on my mind for a while; blogging etiquette. Is there such a thing?
How do you feel when someone leaves a blunt/nasty comment on your blog? Don't get me wrong.... I have wonderful followers who leave me fabulous comments. A while ago, I blogged about coffee and one follower left a very strongly worded comment about her love of coffee. My perception was that she was inferring that I should not have blogged about anything controversial. The blog was merely raising something that I had found useful in my own life. Incidentally, she mentions on her own blog that she suffers from depression - but far be it from me to question others defences. I blog about my life - crafty stuff, food, thrifty living and other things that I think are interesting. The follower then removed herself from my list - fine, I have no problem with that, but it did leave me thinking and I would love your thoughts.......
When you join a blog, do you expect (hope) that the person will join your blog?
If you comment on a blog, do you expect (hope) that the person will reciprocate?
How do you feel when they don't?
Does it matter?
Do you feel that it is okay to leave negative comments on blogs?
(Like Thumper I was raised with 'If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all').
Is it weird that the words of strangers can impact on us?
Enjoy your day
Love Mrs Thrifty
xxx
Hello Mrs. Thrifty:
ReplyDeleteYou raise a number of interesting points here. First, we think that it is entirely unacceptable of anyone to leave unpleasant comments on anyone's blog. That is not to say that we do not welcome different opinions about what we post, far from it, but we do think that these should always be expressed with consideration and politely. Having said that, we have never, in the year we have been blogging, received an offensive comment.
As regards Followers we make a point if someone is kind enough to follow us, then we return the compliment and will usually try to leave comments as often as we are able.
For those who comment on our posts, we always, with very rare exceptions, make a reply, but this is because we are interested in establishing a dialogue with our commentators.
Our posts are always about what we wish to write, and to that end we do not contribute to memes, etc. We write for our own pleasure, but are always delighted if people are kind enough to read what we say and leave a comment.
I hope that anybody who has taken the time to read my blog feels that they can leave their opinion, whatever it may be, although I do hope that they feel they can word it so that it is not rude or offensive in any way.
ReplyDeleteI too write about my daily life and have written about my marriage breakdown as well as my crafting escapades. Not everyone perhaps agrees that we should be so open but I feel that this is my diary of my life and although I am a very private person in sad times a friendly comment from another blogger means a huge amount and helped me enormously. At the end of the day everything we write is our opinion and I try very hard not to upset anyone I would never leave a comment on someone else's blog for example that is rude. If I was so offended (which would never happen) I wouldn't leave a comment at all!
I love to see new followers and I always check out my 'newbies' to see if they have a blog that I can follow too. Not just for the sake of it but because each new person you meet in blogland opens new doors and gives fresh ideas to me.
I try to leave a reply for people when I can but have to admit It is not something I do as much as I feel I should. I need to work on that! lol Sue x
Personally the reason I began my blog was for me, so I am pretty much of the opinion I should stay "true to myself", and carry on with it as so. I do love receiving comments, as it does so encourage me to carry on with my blog. We are all entitled to each others opinion & I suppose we are not always "everyone's cup of tea". I do not have a reply option, however I have always encouraged & do have a handful who do email me. Great point, I love following your life, and as one Pisces and dog lover to another .... carry on you are doing wonderful ! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI think I agree with people so far - by all means disagree with a post, but couch it in pleasant polite terms!
ReplyDeleteOn one of my blogs, I don't have followers, so I don't worry about thatr. On the other I can "collect" followers, but I'm not too bothered about that! If people leave comments I try to pop over to their blog, but I don't generally follow blogs. I bookmark them, and when I have time, I randomly click on a bookmark to visit the blog. So sometimes I'm a regular visitor, sometimes I'm not. I don't always comment - often I don't have anything interesting to say - although I suppose I could leave a comment saying I've enjoyed the blog. (As I have enjoyed this one!!!)
I've never had any unpleasant comments; just once I've had a "blunt" comment, but in fact, it made me stop and reconsider my views, so that was a good thing.
I don't really know why I blog, but through it I've made some good "cyber friends". I think it's partly for family to read, partly for my own pleasure and partly (with my foodie blog) to be organised. If it helps other people find new food/recipes/pleasure then all the better, but that's not the main reason.
Now I'm off to bookmark this blog!
Firstly, all my comments are moderated so I can decide whether to post them or not. So far, haven't had a rude one but did have an extremely personal one which I verified back with the writer that they didn't mind me publishing, hadn't had second thoughts etc.
ReplyDeleteI love having followers but at the end of the day, it is my blog about my life and if people don't like it, they can kindly go elsewhere.
Thank you all for your kindly words of wisdom and it is so nice to know that I am not out there alone in cyber-space. I don't usually have to check things out - and as you all seem to be doing, I write what seems pertinent at any given time. Thank you for spending your time to reply - much appreciated xxx
ReplyDeleteI think, like in real life, a few people are just not very nice. Unfortunately!
ReplyDeleteI'm happy to leave and receive a different opinion comment, just not a rude one.
Welll...... i agree with thumper too :) nothing nice to say then dont bother :)
ReplyDeleteI started my blog for me and love having peps following along and leaving comments.
Although, if i decide to follow a blog, i dont expect them to follow me in return, in fact id rather have followers that 'really' want to follow and not just follow because they feel they have to.
I dont alway comment on other blogs, i comment if i feel ive got something worth saying, but mostly choose to lurk along (but thats because sometimes if find it hard to string words together)
Id like to reply to every comment i get on my blog, but its not alway possible and I hope others take me as they find me :)
i like to treat others as i wish to be treated.
anyway forgive me for not being around for awhile :)
x x x
I dont have a blog. I comment on blogs because I like to make my contribution. I dont expect anything in return. I think some bloggers need to feel wanted and if they get links it fullfills this desire. Sad really.
ReplyDeleteIf someone is kind enough to follow my blog, I usually follow them back. I once had anonymous comments which were particularly nasty...the person took exception to me being vegan and Christian...so I removed the anonymous comments choice. If a person feels the need to leave a negative comment,then they shouldn't be reading my blog!
ReplyDeleteLike tends to follow like.
Jane x
What an interesting discussion! I hope it isn't too late to contribute... First of all, let me say that I love your blog - you can really tell your personality from the way you write - and that is important for me when I am reading blogs. On my blog I write when I feel I have something to say - I actually can't write if I have to. I think you can tell when a blog is written under pressure.
ReplyDeleteIf someone follows my blog I will pop over and have a look at their blog, but not necessarily follow... I follow if it is relevant to me and if I will enjoy receiving the updates.. I actually read A LOT of blogs every day.. comment on a few, look forward to a few... feel that I am friends with a few... I comment if I feel I have something to say, if I love something.. if I don't feel I can add anything, or am not excited by something I just don't say anything. I would NEVER leave a negative comment - but then if you are negative in life it would come across the ether anyway! Thumper's words are perfect. If people comment on my blog I try to reply in the reply box... sometimes I will email if I have something extra to say...but sometimes I am just too tired or busy to answer....so I try to make up for it later. I have noticed that some of the very popular bloggers rarely comment on other people's blogs.... When I first started blogging I left a comment asking whether the blogger read all her comments - and she immediately emailed me back to say she read every word which was nice of her. I actually don't mind if people don't reply to me, but I hate to think I am being ignored :) I'm like that in life too :)
Your last point - is it weird that the words of strangers can impact on us... I think it is human to want to be liked and approved of, but some people have problems...and I try to remind myself that there are MANY more lovely people (bloggers)in the world than there are horrible ones... and at least we can switch them off in bloggyland! Great post Mrs. Thrifty! Hugs, Jill x
Hello Mrs Thrifty, I am a bit paranoid now trying to think back if I had put something on that could have been seen as slightly offensive, I certainly hope not, I would be mortified!! I feel if you dont agree with something then there are ways to say it without causing offence, the only thing I worry about is sometimes when I post comments on blogs from other countries whether things could get misconstrued or not.I like to follow back if someone follows me but am not upset if they dont follow back.I'm not worried about having hundreds of followers because I read all the blogs I follow and comment to let them know I do on a regular basis.I really enjoy your blog and we should all be able to say what we want controversial or not, as long as we are not offensive that should be ok.X
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your more than helpful comments - great to have your perspective, to help me keep things in perspective. Anne, you have never offended me in any way. I have always enjoyed very positive comments. There was one rant on the post I did on coffee, but after the person decided to stop following my blog, I made the decision to remove the comment. I am fine with differences of opinion - they make the world go round - I love it - but this particular comment was verging on offensive. Love and hugs to you all xxx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear someone has left a negative comment.
ReplyDeleteWe've had a couple of strange comments from anonymous folks before, but we moderate our comments before they are published.
We follow blogs which interest us, but not always those who follow us & don't expect others to follow us just because we're following them - if that makes sense... If it becomes apparent that a blog we've joined isn't for us, then we take it off our sidebar list, but still continue to follow it in theory. Saying that - we do have a few we rarely look at, just because it's a struggle to keep up with them all!
We would hope that if a follower felt offended by something we write about that they would email us. We do have some private followers who email now & again to challenge us about a topic, but it's mostly light hearted.
It's quite normal to feel the impact of another's words, but hopefully sharing your thoughts in this way & seeing the positive comments you have received will help you feel better! :)
Enjoy the rest of your weekend & look forward to hearing about your oat milk!
Kay & Sime
Just want to start by saying I really love your blog, I enjoy reading your thoughts and you have given me lots to think about, thank you so much - you do cheer my day! Lots of points and it is a minefield isn't it? I totally agree that if you have nothing nice to say then don"t say anything, although I like reading other peoples views and totally think you can disagree nicely!!
ReplyDeleteSince I love comments and value knowing someone has read or thought about something I have posted I always make an effort to "do unto others". I have some blogs where I have no "friendship" with the author but I still comment if I have enjoyed the post.
I really enjoy reading blogs where I follow and interact with the writer - I love other people's stories and meeting new friends.
Thank you so much and keep writing, I love it!
xxxx
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhen you join a blog, do you expect (hope) that the person will join your blog?
ReplyDeleteI don't but am thrilled if they do. But blogging has to be managable so they may not be able to do so.
If you comment on a blog, do you expect (hope) that the person will reciprocate? No, but it's nice if I have asked them something. I do respond to comments but that's my choice.
How do you feel when they don't?
I'm not worried.
Does it matter? Nope. A blog is a diary for some people.
Do you feel that it is okay to leave negative comments on blogs?
A blog is a public domain. BUT if I don't agree I don't say anything.
(Like Thumper I was raised with 'If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all').Absolutely.
Sft x
Is it weird that the words of strangers can impact on us?
Well I have certainly raised some interest here and thank you again for all your comments. There seems also to be a consensus of opinion about how we leave comments, so maybe I am just lucky with the people who do choose to follow/comment on my blog. Back to crafting tomorrow!!!! Lots of love xxx
ReplyDeleteI have 2 stalkers, er.. I mean "commenters" that feel the need to put me & my family down at every possible opportunity. I've taken the liberty of banning their ISP from my blog. I have no time for childish "adults" like that. I don't mind when people disagree with me, but don't call me & my children horrible names and leave me nasty messages. That's just crossing the line. WAY over the line!
ReplyDeleteAs for commenting, I do try to comment on those blogs that take the time to comment on mine, but I am busy and don't always unfortunately find the time. I don't get upset/offended if someone doesn't comment on my blog and i've commented on theirs, I wouldn't even know truthfully! lol!
I don't see blogging as an IOU. If people read my blog and leave me a comment, i'm grateful & appreciate it. I would *think* that most others would feel the same. :)
Do as you like, and don't worry about 'naysayers' and whatnot, you'll never be able please everyone! ;)
Hello, Mrs Thrifty, I have brought you up to 101 followers! I would never leave a nasty comment on anyone's blog, if I don't agree with what someone is saying, I just don't comment and wait for the next post. When I join a blog I do hope that they join back because it's always nice to get new followers. And I always join the blogs of my followers. As for comments, I always try and comment back but don't always manage it and if someone doesn't comment back to me I don't mind, I assume they're busy with their lives and families. I think that negative words, even from people we've never met, can affect us. I always think least said, soonest mended, although I would always stick up for myself and my family if the need arose. Hope this was useful. Thank you for becoming a follower and for the link and good luck in the giveaway xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm with lots of your other commenters and with Thumper....if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything!
ReplyDeleteA Blog is a 'Web Log' an online diary. If we choose to let folk comment on ours, they should respect that what we say is our own opinion, if they disagree fair enough, they can tell us they do or simply keep quiet, when things become nasty is when they try to interfere, or sway other readers with their opinion, this is when they try to turn your Blog into a Forum and that is not on.
I have had a few comments that have come from folk who haven't understood what I have said or disagree violently with me and I do try and politely answer their comment. If they stay nasty after an explanation they are quietly deleted.
I try to Follow as many folk as I can, especially those that follow me, and I have some of them on my sidebar for quick reading, I try to visit folk regularly but don't always have the time to comment. Similarly I do try to answer questions that arise in my comment section, but most folk that want or need urgent advice send me private emails which I always respond to as soon as I can.
Your Blog is wonderful, don't let adverse comments or commenters that don't understand get you down, just keep up the good work.
Sue xx
Your post really got me thinking. I read it for the first time yesterday afternoon but I didn't have time to comment. I thought that I'd probably do a link post on my blog this afternoon.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how upset we can be by the whole 'follower' issue. I think your blog is lovely and you mustn't let one silly person spoil your enjoyment of 'blogland'
Hello, Mrs Thrifty! I just popped in to say Hello and to thank you for following my blog. I always like to check out my followers and see what they have to say as well as seeing what we might have in common that might have attracted them to my blog in the first place.
ReplyDeleteI notice that you are in Suffolk and so you are not that far away from me in the Fens, so I will also be following you, and for my own ease of finding you, will probably add you to my sidebar of blogs as well. I'm off to have a good look around now xx
Hello Mrs Thrifty,
ReplyDeletePls delete and reinstate as a follower on my blog. All explained in my last two posts. :-) A.
Coming in a bit late to this Mrs Thrifty but I'd like to add my bit although I'm a new blogger.
I have to echo many of the comments posted here as they coincide with my own. In answer to your questions and as a newbie who does not have the blogging experience of others my reasons personally for blogging are to learn from others,to I hope also to offer my own grain of knowhow within the crafts context. However It is becoming an outlet for my own thoughts and ideas and low and behold I don't feel too shy to express them. I am more than keen to have followers (told you I'm new and have two which I am thrilled with). As for being open or not surely that is up to the individual and it is also up to the reader or follower to accept that or not. It is everyones individual choice. I quite agree with the Thumper attitude however there may be others who enjoy chitchat ......fine .....I'm not criticizing that. Where negative comments are concerned I definitely do not agree with that ...to discuss and disagree by all means.... and constructive criticism is positive! I'm totally against negative comments but also feel that what may seem negative to a reader may not be what the writer implied. This is after all non-verbal communication. I very much agree with what Krafty Cupcake comments that meeting new bloggers opens up new doors and give fresh ideas! idem! I greatly look forward to that. Amanda xx
It's amazing how some things can affect us. I love to get new followers and always check to see if they have a blog and follow them too. It's nice to know that people are interested in what you write/make and it gives you the motivation to keep blogging. Luckily I haven't had any negative comments and I would never leave a negative comment anywhere in blogland if something is not to my taste I say nothing. You can call me sad if you like but when I see I have had over a 100 visitors on my blog and not one of them has left me a comment I feel a little sad :(
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI am calling by to say thank you so much for visiting my blog and for adding a link to the Giveaway...it really is appreciated!
Hope you have a lovely week,
Susan x
P.S I'm a new follower too!...x
ReplyDeleteYou have raised questions which I often ponder, especially when I have a new follower. I have a relatively tiny following and often wonder why anyone would want to follow me. At the very beginning I would immediately follow anyone who followed me, and tried to faithfully comment to most posts. I soon found many followed not because they wanted to communicate, but because they wanted to increase their own numbers. While I love to see new followers, I equally enjoy the communication. I've always known we live in a small world, but I have found many like thinking souls through blogging. It seems I have found my voice here.
ReplyDeleteI try very hard to respond to comments. I will either email a response, comment on their post or reply back on my own comment page. Again it is the communication I enjoy.
I seldom write anything controversial so negative comments have been few. I was questioned for using eggs in a recipe (I have never proclaimed to be vegan). I am on Thumper's team.
The numbers are flattering, but I want to chat. I hope you have sunshine soon.
Bonnie
Really interesting topic Mrs thrifty and i really enjoyed reading everyones comments, thanks!
ReplyDeleteI agree with most of you that i'd never leave a rude comment, sorry to hear you had one recently, i can see how that'd be hurtful. id only share a differing opinion if answering a question - like here and definitely not in a rude way!
I personally dont like the idea of following someone just because they're following you, I look at all the blogs that follow me, some i read semi regularly but i only follow people i really really want to, same with blog rolls i only recommend the blogs i totally LOVE i feel im being more genuine that way - its all a personal choice, blogs are personal, its sharing part of your world so its bound to be!
I can also see why people would re-follow all their followers and add to blog rolls as a sign of appreciation for their support, makes sense to me too, each to their own hey? But i hope people would not be offended by my choices...
I especially appreciate comments on my blog so i always reply individually to each one
x